The “progressive” Ten Commandments

1. You shall have no other gods before Me.

Except money, and the redistribution thereof.  Nothing is more important than for humans to decide what is fair, and to determine the equitable distribution of the world’s resources. 

2. You shall not make unto thee any graven image.

Except images of “progressive” leaders, which will be carefully crafted to convey a saintly, even god-like image.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord God in vain.

Except when to do so is the most effective way to disminish belief in Divine Providence.  In such cases, use God’s name in any way necessary to achieve your ends.

4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

Except when keeping the Sabbath day holy interferes with the all important tasks of demonizing Divine Providence and/or promoting human conceived notions of “equal justice”, “economic justice” and “social justice”.

5. Honour your father and your mother.

Except when to do so involves being receptive to their ideas, which are based upon their love and care for you as their children.  Under no circumstances shall you place honoring your father and mother before honoring the State, your Marxist teachers or their message.

6. You shall not murder.

Except when necessary to prevent the birth of an unexpected, inconvenient or unwanted child. 

7. You shall not commit adultery.

Except in those cases when you’re horny.  Then it’s OK, just don’t get caught.

8. You shall not steal.

Except through “progressive taxation”, which is entirely necessary for the redistribution of wealth in the name of  “equal justice”, “economic justice” and “social justice”.

9. You shall not bear false witness.

Unless you’re involved in a heated political battle, in which case you’re free to twist your opponents words, message and intentions to suit your campaign’s needs.

10. You shall not covet.

Except when to do so is necessary for the promotion of  “equal justice”, “economic justice” and “social justice”.